From: David Hasselhoff
To: Jamie
Subject: In Your Eyes, My Ass
Date: Tues, 21 Aug 2007 11:55 PM

Jamie,

John Cusack? John "I'm so sensitive or at least I was back in the'80's during my film-career heyday" Cusack? You've got to be kidding me!

• See this? That's right, lady. No gorgeous man hair peaking out of that shirt.
• And this? Not at all loved in Germany.
• And what about this? Look at me! That little sonuvabitch probably drives a Prius.
  

I'd walk the ends of this earth and back, Jamie, to have you in my arms. But don't insult me by throwing Lloyd Dobler in my face. Lloyd has nothing on Mitch.

Valiently yours,
DH

P.S. Just between you and me ... I wouldn't turn you down were you to suggest a Jamie sandwich with a slice of Lloyd on one side and a slice of Mitch on the other ... especially if once or twice the slices could meet as well.